


Gone

by AnOctoberPepper



Series: The Boys Who Lived [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby Harry Potter, Good Severus Snape, Werewolf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22825705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnOctoberPepper/pseuds/AnOctoberPepper
Summary: A year after Lily's death her younger brother and Severus Snape struggle to hold everything together.Harry is forgetting his parents, and Remus has come back, and the Auror department is very concerned about a possible werewolf lose in the Evan's household. It's going to take all of Tyler's very minimal cunning and everything in Severus's arsenal to keep their secrets hidden.Part 2 of The Boys who Lived
Series: The Boys Who Lived [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1640971
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Harry James Potter's second birthday was on July 31st. From what Severus knew the party had been small. Just Tyler and Harry. In a letter, Lily's little brother had written,

"Mr. Dursely called to cancel. Dudley's sick and the begonia's need weeding. They sent a gift!"

Petunia, Severus suspected, had trouble looking at Harry; Had trouble being in the house where Lily had once lived, surrounded by pictures of the life Lily had left her for.

Merlin knew he did.

The letter had ended: "Are you still interested in birthday cake on the 4th? It's chocolate!"

Tyler and Severus planned to celebrate the birthday a few days late when Severus would be around anyway for the full moon. He wrote back a grudging "yes" hoping Tyler wouldn't be up for it. The moons had gotten better for a few months, but then July had been a disaster and Severus suspected nothing would be okay again until after Halloween. 

Anniversaries and dates kept pecking at them. Lily's birthday in January, Harry's in July. October was looming, and after that, they started the countdown until Harry had lived longer with Tyler than he had with his own parents. James and Lily were alive for exactly 15 months of Harry's life. Tyler had been Harry's guardian for 9 months now. The 15-month mark wasn't far off. 

In watching the boy, Severus began to wonder if Harry had any memories of his parents, or if the Potter's had started drifting away to that place where dreams go when you wake up.

And maybe that was okay.

They never said any of this out loud. They skirted around it, leaving conversations hanging at the end of accidental sentences and stories that trailed off when they remembered who had been there. There was an unspoken agreement not to fall apart. Not to cry in front of each other, because if one of them fell apart, then they both would. 

Then again Tyler was too busy to break down, and Severus wasn't sure he could. So they moved through the motions of life, month after month, sleepwalking to survive. They pushed away their own tears as often as they wiped away Harry's. They bucked up and walked on, if not for Harry's sake, then their own.

But grief had a weird way of twisting a mind and Severus found himself concentrating his efforts not in sorrow or grief, but in haphazard worry. In unpinned fear.

In laws and regulations.

But when it came to werewolves, there was too much contradicting information. There were books, and pamphlets, and handouts. There were chapters in almost wholly unrelated books and entire volumes written well before anyone knew anything about them. And that's where Severus found himself concentrating his grief: In rumors about the wolf that stalked Tyler and, by association, him.

Severus got his hands on as many pieces of information as he could without looking suspicious. The Hogwarts library was easy. Madam Pince knew he was interested in Defense Against the Dark Arts so she didn't ask any questions when he walked out of the restricted section with a stack of book tucked under each arm. 

The Beast office at the ministry didn't care what visitors did and Severus had slipped more pamphlets up his sleeve in three minutes than he had read in his entire life. The Beings office was full of chatty witches who tried to drag him into conversations about the Daily Profit and the continuing Death Eater trials. He grabbed a few pieces of related literature and snuck off as quickly as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was to talk about the trials.

Then again, maybe the trials were just another reason he was burying himself in this work? Avery had gotten off, and Narcissa had invited him around for tea. Maybe it was fear that the once-Death Eaters would find something out. That they would wonder about the wrong thing at the wrong time, but he was doing his best to stay scarce, and locking himself in his house with books was a good way to achieve scarcity. His only fear now was that they would knock on his door on the wrong night and then the pieces of Tyler and Harry's unsteady support system would come crashing down. 

Or perhaps he buried himself to ignore Tyler. To ignore how much he appreciated the premade meat pies, artisan sandwiches and rich pasta dishes that had been mysteriously filling his cabinets over the last seven months. He tore through books to bury the terrifying fact that he might care about the boy.

Of course, what it really came down to was fear. 

Fear that the Death Eaters or the ministry would catch Tyler and take Harry from them. But Severus only admitted that to himself on the darkest nights, when grief and terror chased away any chance of sleep. 

He told himself someone had to be worried. Tyler was too caught up with, if not raising a child, at least keeping one alive. Which was probably for the best because when he wasn't wrangling a child he was stress cooking. The food he left around Severus's home like a well-trained house-elf as thank yous was unnecessary, but Severus suspected cooking was Tyler's version of a sleepless night. While Severus laid awake fighting grief, Tyler cooked. So the boy was adamant about leaving Severus meals, and Severus was hungry. 

He comforted himself knowing Hogwarts would be back in session in a month and Tyler would soon have no reason to waste his money on anything besides Harry. In fact, in a few months, Severus would have enough to begin sending food and goods in the opposite direction. Merlin knew they needed it. Harry had outgrown the small collection of clothes that had been rescued from Godric's Hollow, and though Petunia had lovingly offered up Dudley's hand-me-downs they were far from the right size for the scrawny toddler.

Severus rubbed a hand over his face. How had he gotten to this point? The point where he was worried about the clothes James Potter's son was wearing. The point where he was imagining spending his paycheck on toys and food and clothes?

But that was his job wasn't it? The reason he was working at Hogwarts, the deal he had made with Dumbledore. Tyler had simply managed to pull him into a deeper layer of hell by asking him to babysit.

He breathed out an exasperated, disappointed breath and looked across the room to the table of books he had amassed. They were all about werewolves and they were all contradictory. The laws about child guardianship, safety, spells, there were too many, and yet not enough and Severus's head was spinning with the knowledge. He knew that when it boiled down to it, there were no true laws, and whatever was written would be twisted in whatever direction pleased the court. Which meant if Tyler was ever caught Harry would be taken away from him quicker than you could say "Newt Scamander."

They had talked about it, of course. Severus had tried to tell Tyler time and time again to have a plan, something in case they found out about him being a werewolf. Something to protect him, but Tyler had shrugged it off, unconcerned. Protected as he usually was from the real world by others he didn't realize his peril.

Protecting Tyler was his job, but there was nothing here that could protect them, and Severus knew it.

He needed a break.

A long one…but he knew it wasn't coming so instead he settled for running errands. He still needed to pick up a few potion materials from Knockturn Alley before the beginning of the semester, perhaps that would be enough of a distraction before he would spiral back into desperate research.

He checked his coin pouch to make sure he had enough for his purchases and left through the floo.

Knockturn Alley boiled under the hot August air. They hadn't seen rain in days, and everywhere he looked plants seemed to be shriveling. Not that plants in Knockturn Alley thrived, but they certainly weren't supposed to be completely brown and scraggly. 

The apothecary was squeezed between a shady fortune teller's office and a pawn shop that couldn't have sold much that wasn't stolen. Severus exhaled gratefully as he stepped out of the summer heat and into the dark of the store. The witch behind the counter barely flicked her eyes up from a copy of Witch Weekly. Blond tresses soon obscured her face from view, and her black nails picked up their rhythmic tapping on the dark wooden counter.

The entire place was dreary. To preserve many of the ingredients the windows had been spelled to black, and the only light came from flickering blue candles placed too far apart down the many aisles. Severus pulled out his list and turned right into a maze of shelves lined with pickled limbs in jars of green and grey liquid. He read labels as he passed, admiring how well some of the ingredients were preserved, how fresh they looked, and how neatly they had been packaged. As disinterested as the store owner looked, she knew her stuff. He had only pulled one bottle from the shelf- as cool to the touch as a bottle of manticore fangs- when a voice hissed his name out of the shadows, sending the skin on Severus's back crawling away from the sound.

"Carrow," Severus replied, equally cooly. If there was one ex-Death Eater Severus was looking forward to seeing the least, it was Carrow. 

There was a humorless laugh from the other end of the aisle before the lithe form of the man became visible. He had thinned out in the stress of the trials and if Severus wasn't mistaken there were strands of grey in the man's otherwise youthful brown hair.

"What brings you out of hiding? People have been saying you fell off the face of the earth," Carrow said. "Fell right off the earth and into the hands of Headmaster Dumbledick." Carrow's weak grey eyes were accusing.

Severus knew he needed to play his cards just right. He had been avoiding just these types of situations for over a year because of his precarious situation. Yes, Dumbledore had gotten him off. Yes, in a way he was on Dumbledore's side, but the old wizard was also counting on him to keep in good standing with the less savory sides of the magical world. Up until now, he had barely been keeping in touch with Mulciber and Avery, let alone the rest of the Death Eaters. In his defense, most of them were avoiding each other until the chips fell and they knew who was safe to associate with, but Severus had taken the silence to a new level.

"Just because I'm working for Dumbledore doesn't mean I've fallen off the face of the earth," Severus responded.

"So it's true. You've gone soft, working for that old Buffoon."

"He is a buffoon, but he pays, and unlike your delightful girlfriend I'm not rotting in Azkaban so I don't see the problem with my situation. We don't all have parents who can buy our way out of prison." Severus said. "I see you've done well though, getting back into the ministry." Severus turned over a jar of a particularly gruesome looking specimen and pretended to read the tag.

"I'm managing." Carrow licked his teeth in the way Severus particularly disliked. "We're actually rather busy at the moment, working on the trials."

"What would someone from the werewolf capture unit have to do with the trials?" Severus asked. He hadn't kept close contact with any of Lord Voldemort's followers, but he had kept tabs on them. He picked out gossip where he could get it, reading between the lines in the daily profit and tuning his ears in when he was out and about. 

Carrow was in the werewolf capture unit, ironically arresting those Voldemort said he would protect. Carrow helped in the arrest of the once-leader of one of Voldemort's werewolf packs. His name had been in the news article. Putting the pieces together had been easy. Learning that Carrow's sister was sharpening her teeth on other out-of-luck souls in the Beast Division had been a little more difficult, but he'd stumbled on the answer eventually. He had caught a glimpse of her when he visited the office but managed to slip out of sight before being noticed.

Carrow laughed a throaty laugh and reminded Severus, "Lupin is still on the loose, and he's wanted with ties to the ol' Sirius Black."

Severus's stomach dropped. He had almost completely forgotten about Lupin. It was easier to pin all of his hatred on someone who was already rotting in Azkaban. To pin everything on Sirius Black, the man who had taunted him, almost killed him. The man who actually went through with betraying his best friend, and worse- Severus's heart still constricted after all these months- Lily Evans.

Severus suspected Remus had something to do with the murders. How could he not? The Marauders were thick as thieves and there was no way a werewolf, and the only living friend of Sirius Black's wasn't in on the scheme. Carrow's words lit a fire in Severus's heart, a new rage. He stuffed it deep down, not letting it show on his face as he turned to the other man. "I'm sure he's a slippery one to catch. He was always very good at Defense Against the Dark Arts, probably because he had such an intimate knowledge of it."

"Hmm. You seem to know a lot about him," Carrow accused dryly.

"We were in the same year at Hogwarts, it was hard not to know these things." Severus restocked the jar and stepped around Carrow. There were still things he needed to buy after all.

"You'll let me know then, if you here rumors of him?"

"Of course," Severus agreed. Nothing would be more satisfying to him than turning Lupin over to Carrow's cold little hands. Severus had seen what Carrow had done to muggles during the war. He was restricted by the ministry's laws now, but Carrow was creative, and Severus had faith that Lupin would get what was coming to him.

Carrow smiled and slipped back into the dark of the store. Severus finished his shopping as quickly as possible.

"B… That one." 

Severus's hand hovered over a bishop. 

"No the horsy one next to it." 

Tyler could see the fury rise in Severus's face at the misnaming of the chess piece. He flashed Severus a knowing smile that was not reciprocated, and Severus moved his finger a few centimeters to the side and stared. 

Tyler nodded and answered though his voice still rough and nasally from the full moon two nights before, "Yup that one, like two forward and one that way." He pointed his index finger to the left and Severus moved the piece. It whinnied and pranced around. Off to the side, Harry giggled, and Tyler couldn't help but smile. The boy was growing, he must have shot up half an inch since he turned him over to Severus a few days ago. Tyler tried not to think about it. Instead, he shut his eyes and worked his weary brain into remembering the series of moves he was planning next.

Tyler loved playing wizard's chess. None of the pieces listened to him, but they could still be moved manually when he wasn't wrapped in four layers of blankets on the couch. When he wasn't feeling awful, he could even, sometimes, beat Severus at a match. The other man didn't find opportunities to play against others very often and to Tyler's amusement and Severus's shock he had found himself rather good at the game.

Across the table Severus directed his own bishop to destroy a rook and Tyler let his head drop against the couch. The rook crumpled and slouched off the edge of the board. Harry squealed and Tyler's head shot up from the cushion. That wasn't an amused laugh, it was an angry one. He managed to see the chess table just in time for two toddler hands to smash every piece off the board in an unscheduled tantrum. 

"What on earth?" Tyler stared, surprised at the venom in the kid's fight. Severus too seemed startled. He backed off from the coffee table and watched the scene. Harry screamed again and slapped the table. Tyler untangled himself from the blankets, fighting sore muscles and bandages, to reach out and pull Harry's hands away. "No, Harry. No. Gentle." The boy screamed a little but didn't put up much of a fight. He whined as Tyler picked him up and pulled him onto his lap.

"Harry what's wrong?" 

Harry kicked out at the table, demanding to be put down, and when Tyler acquiesced the boy flopped onto the ground and poked at a grumbling and bewildered bishop.

Tyler stared for a second then looked up at Severus apologetically, "I guess that's game over?" he said. "Sorry."

Severus nodded but didn't say anything. Tyler stared at the small boy as Severus began to pick up the pieces scattered on the ground. It was hard to fathom what was going on in the mind of a two-year-old. Sure, these were the terrible twos, but he was also staring at a boy who had lost everything in the last year, and Tyler didn't know if he was acting worse than he should be. He slumped back onto the couch with a groan.

He stayed there until Severus had kindly replaced all the pieces into their small velvet bag and set the chess board back onto a high shelf. 

"Will you stay for dinner?" Tyler asked pulling Harry off the ground and onto his lap again.

"I'll pass."

"I'll set you a place. It's casserole," Tyler said. He struggled to his feet, still holding Harry. "Lord boy when did you swallow a bowling ball?" 

Harry was heavy, but maybe it was just his weak arms. Either way, by the time they reached the door to the kitchen Tyler had set him back on the ground with a groan. He limped the rest of the way into the kitchen and pulled three plates from a cabinet. "You want something to drink?" He called back into the living room.

"I'm not staying," Severus repeated.

"Lemonade it is."

"I have things to get done."

"I know, I know, you have a busy life." Tyler waved off his protest.

"I actually have to have everything in my new office before next week," Severus said.

"School doesn't start for a month."

"Next week," Severus repeated, finally entering the kitchen.

"So. That's next week." Tyler said.

"Yes, and there's a lot of packing that needs done before then."

"Do it after you eat," Tyler insisted. He limped across the room and pulled a still half-frozen casserole from the counter. He hobbled back to the oven and slipped the dish in, cranking the heat up and hoping it warmed quickly.

Behind him Severus was fiddling with the pile of papers and mugs that were always strewn across the kitchen table. A tactic for not leaving, but also not agreeing to stay.

"Looking at my mess?" Tyler smirked. Severus had picked up a sheet and was glancing over it, looking bored.

"You make an art form out of being a complete slob," Severus drawled.

"Sorry." Tyler said, "I didn't get that cleaned up before everything went funny." He leaned back against the counter to take weight off his ankle and as he did he realized Severus was looking very interested at the paper in his hands. There was a beat then Tyler's heart skipped as he remembered what he was doing when things "went funny." He snatched the sheet from Severus's hand leaving a small piece of white paper clutched between the man's fingers. Severus didn't need to see bank statements. 

Tyler quickly gathered the rest of the papers up and heaved them onto the counter out of Severus's line of site. Before the other man could say anything, Tyler handed over a stack of plates and began pulling silverware from a drawer. 

"Here make yourself useful," Tyler directed. 

Severus's head tilted to the side, a clear sign of interest, but he followed Tyler's instructions. 

"You want some toast?" Tyler asked wincing as he reached to pull bread from a top counter. Harry was fussing at his ankles.

"Toast? I thought we were having Casserole."

"We are, but Harry wants toast, and he's been pretty exclusively eating that for three days so…" Tyler shrugged and painstakingly untwisted a tie from the end of the bread bag. His fingers were still betraying him with joint pain and shakes. 

He could feel Severus's eyes on his back, and tried to hide his wince as he set bread in the toaster and limped the loaf back into the proper counter. Severus's eyes were still on him. He turned, "What are you thinking so deeply about?" Tyler asked. 

"I- Have you had any contact with Lupin lately?"

That was an odd question, and seemingly out of the blue, but Tyler answered, "No, why?" 

Harry grabbed at his pants, and Tyler turned away from Severus. The toaster popped and he plucked up the bread, slathered jam onto it and handed half down to Harry who began chewing on it happily. 

"He's disappeared," Severus clarified. The man's eyes slid to the stack of Daily Profits Tyler had swept from the table along with the bank statements. Tyler knew about Lupin, he just tried not to think about it too much. 

"Not a word from him." Tyler took a bite from the other half of the bread. "He basically lived here, if anyone were going to see him it would be me, and nada." 

Severus eyed him suspiciously. Tyler made an act of eyeing him back until a smile cracked across his face, "No one has seen Remus in months," he laughed out. His tone was somewhere between upset and disinterested. Tyler had always liked Remus, even when he was still adjusting to life with Lily's new friends. Severus was giving him a strange look so he tried to straighten out his face, keep his voice even. Severus knew every one of his tells. Tyler had to work hard to lie to him. 

"You do know he's wanted…that we're looking for him?"

Tyler shuffled, fidgeted until he winced and had to grab the counter to hold himself steady. He had to say something. 

"I might have heard that some people think he was in league with Siri-" The name slurred to a stop in Tyler's mouth. He couldn't quite say it. He kept trying but the words got lost between his teeth and his confidence as if saying the name aloud would make the man appeared before them. As if it would make the tragedy of last October real again.

"Sirius Black." Severus finished for him, brash and unafraid of the name.

Tyler nodded, and his attention dropped to the floor, but he could see Severus' attention flittering around the room as if he was looking for some evidence of the other werewolf's presence. As if he would find some crack where Sirius Black's best friend could sneak through to take the last piece of Lily Evan's away from them.

"Sev?" Tyler prompted, dragging Severus back into the conversation and away from his unjust concern. "Remus is a good guy."

"No. He is a werewolf," Severus said. "He was here wasn't he?"

"No," Tyler answered too quickly. Severus's lip curled ready to growl. 

"Tyler if he was here you need to tell me," Severus insisted. "If he was working with Sirius he will be after Harry."

"He's not after Harry."

"So he has been here!?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Moss." Severus was doing his best to bore holes into Tyler's forehead with his glare.

"He wasn't working with Si- that guy," Tyler said, dumbfounded. "Remus couldn't have done that," he insisted. Remus was a decent person, a hard worker. Loyal. Tyler trusted him. 

He stuffed the last quarter of bread into his mouth and hobbled to the oven.

"MOSS!"

"Sev!" Tyler countered through a mouthful of jam-covered.

"Tyler Rodrick Evans I swear on Merlin's grave if you've been sneaking that good-for-nothing-"

"I HAVEN'T!" Tyler said again. He felt eight-years-old, trying to convince his mother he hadn't eaten the last cookie. "I just don't understand why people think Remus was in on this." Tyler held Harry back as he checked the casserole. "He's never hurt a fly. He saved my life, several times, and was always nice to me, and he had nothing to gain from joining the Death Eaters."

Severus breathed in, and out. The familiar image almost made Tyler laugh out loud. He closed the oven, and waited for Severus's clipped words, "Do you think it's a little…odd… that Remus is the only one of James's friends who's still alive?"

"No." Tyler shrugged, "Why bother killing him? Si-He was probably scared of Remus because he was so good at wandy-fighting." The look Severus gave him should have melted Tyler's skin, but Tyler was to busy trying to remember the word wizards used for- "dueling. I meant wand dueling," Tyler corrected himself. 

Severus must have realized he wasn't going to win the argument, so he turned and walked out of the room. Tyler expected to hear the whoosh of the floo, but instead, he heard muttering and every few moments his walls would light up with a comforting blue glow. He recognized that magic. James had put 50 wards on the house and more on the basement. Tyler looked down at Harry the boy was licking jam off his fingers and grinning madly. He must have been hungry? 

"You will have to change the password on your floo," Severus said when he stomped back into the room a few minutes later. "You are going to need to invite people into your house before they can enter, and if you hear a high pitched siren at some point it means someone has broken through the security perimeter. Likely by apparating. I'll set it off when I visit, but I won't mind as I can turn it off. I've set it to alarm my wand when it goes off so I'll know if someone's broken in. Oh, wait-" Severus wandered back out of the room, and Tyler picked Harry off the floor to follow the seemingly deranged wizard around the house. 

Severus cast a few more charms, and Tyler limped through three rooms before becoming too tired to continue. He leaned heavily against the bathroom doorframe where Severus was tapping his wand against the mirror.

"Severus this is ridiculous, Dumbledore put protections on this place when he dropped Harry off."

"Passive ones," Severus mumbled, sounding annoyed.

"No one is going to harm Harry."

Severus began to drag a crackling string of protective light along the wall of the house. "Not anymore at least," he said. 

"Okay." Tyler groaned. "You just finish up with that, I'm going to pull the casserole from the oven. You want birthday cake or do Harry and I get all of it?"

"I'm not eating with you."

"I'll cut you a very large slice."

Severus just mumbled as he continued his work.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus found himself circling his table again two weeks later. Everything was spread out, piled meticulously. He didn’t think any new information had been added, even with two new books and a few replicated documents from the Ministry’s law office. Furthermore, nothing had dissuaded his fear.

“I can’t believe I am at this again.”

He pushed a large stack of papers to the side and pulled an empty cardboard box up from the floor. He needed to continue packing for his move to Hogwarts. A little over two weeks and he would be gone from this place for ten months. Good Riddance. He walked into the living room and began scanning his bookshelves again for anything he might want or need. He took his copy of his sixth and seventh year potions books from their place and walked them into the kitchen.

He was setting them gently into the box when the whir of an alarm went off above his mantle in the living room. He whipped out his wand. His skin prickled with fear as he stepped carefully into his living room. Tyler was there, Harry in his arms, a bag over his shoulders. Severus let out a pent of breath of air, leaving space for annoyance to creep in.

“Moss, what the hell are you doing here?”

Tyler ignored him, heading straight for the kitchen; his safe place. Except he couldn’t go that way because Severus’s books and papers were spread everywhere. He panicked and stepped in the boy’s way. Tyler mumbled and Severus tried to surreptitiously steer him back into the living room.

Tyler didn’t fight. He was light as a feather and didn’t seem to care where he was standing or where he was flinging his belongings. In the blink of an eye he was unstrapping the bag from his shoulder, dropping it by the coffee table. Then he was pealing Harry off his arms and setting him on the floor. Harry teetered for a half second before stumbling forward and cheerily smiling at Severus’s billowing black robes. Servus fought to piece together what was going on. It wasn’t the full moon. He had those days carefully charted. Harry seemed fine, so what was this. He looked up at Tyler. They boy ran his hands down the sides of his jeaned legs, shook them out.

“Tyler,” Severus’s voice was slower, “what’s going on?” Severus’s mind immediately went to raids, threats, any emergency reason Tyler would have to drop the boy off, mid-week without a full moon in sight.

“Nothing, I just-“ Tyler didn’t finish the thought but pressed his thumb and fore finger into his eyes as if plugging them would stop the tears from leaking out. Tyler could never stop himself from crying no matter how hard he tried.

“Moss.” He shouted, hoping to jolt Tyler from whatever self pity was overtaking him. It worked. Tyler jerked his hand from his face, and blinked himself into focusing.

“There was a thing… And.. No. Um no, you know what-” He tried and failed to lie then spat out the truth, his voice raspy with emotion, “Sev, he called me dad. He called me dad and I can’t do that right now. I can’t-“ Tyler looked down at Harry, who had pulled himself to standing with Severus’s robes “I can’t deal with that right now so you have to- can you just take him for a few minutes. Like a half hour at most. Please.”

Severus stared. It had been so long since the funeral. Tyler hadn’t broken down. At Severus’s weary instance neither of them had fallen apart since the fight at Tyler’s place back in November. How could they? No, they both mucked along on the game of life too stressed and shocked to fall apart. They hadn’t fallen apart, and now this.

“Up,” Harry pulled on his robes, insistent and needy as always. “Up,” another yank.

“Harry, be patient,” Severus said, his tongue a little numb around the words.

Tyler looked haunted. Severus pulled himself together and said,

“Tyler it’s fine. It’s just a word-” But just as quickly as he had left Harry on that first night nine months ago, Tyler disappeared once again. This time though, he had his wits about him enough to use the floo.

And then Severus was alone. Left standing in his living room with James Potter’s child. “Dad.” That man couldn’t leave him alone. Even in death.

He looked down at the black mop of the toddler. Harry smiled up, took a lump of his robes in his chubby fist and cooed.

“UP” the boy said again. Severus grumbled to himself.

“I clearly need to get you a broom so you have something else to order around.”

Severus dragged the boy up in one movement and carried him back across the room. “You can stay in the kitchen while I put these reading materials away. How long do you think your useless guardian will need to mope around before getting his act together?” Severus tried to lace his worlds with distain but there was worry there that even he couldn’t disguise.

 _Dad._ Harry had called Tyler Dad.

Severus set Harry on the kitchen floor and looked at the small child. It couldn’t be unusual for a child to expect a father figure, and Harry couldn’t possibly have many memories of James. Not at this point.

Severus was embarrassed to feel a wave of joy that Harry saw a father figure in Tyler instead of James, but it was swiftly cut down by the realization that if Harry didn’t remember James then he surely couldn’t remember Lily. Brilliant green eye stared up at him expectantly.

“I need to put my books away,” He swept Harry off the counter and onto the floor. “You have full access to all the cans in the cupboard and the pots and pans. Have fun.” He knew the noisy metal could keep Harry occupied for a very long time, at least long enough for him to get his books put away.

Severus walked back into the dinning room while Harry toddled to the closest cabinet. He could hear a pan hitting wood as he stacked all the brochures back into a folder and set it atop the stack of books.

A half hour later and Harry had given up on canned vegetables and pans and was dragging a chair from the dining room to the kitchen. Severus stepped around him to levitate the final tall stack of books into a back closet. He returned to find Harry halfway onto his counter.

“No!” Severus crossed the space in two long strides wrapped an arm around Harry’s stomach and lifted him away from his quarry with a growl. “Troublemaker. You may not remember Potter, but you’re just like him.”

He carried a struggling Harry into the living room deposited him on the couch. Severus glanced over at the floo. No sign of Tyler. He had said a half hour, at the most. Severus felt doubt creaping in. Tyler wasn’t great at telling time, or showing up on time, or even remembering what time he said he would be back. Harry was already scrambling off the couch. Severus intercepted the tiny monster and levitated a dark chest off the top of his bookshelf. It landed on the ground with a tiny thump. The dark wood and metal bars looked formidable, but Harry made a tiny happy noise at the sight of it.

The lock was thick metal but when Harry put one slobbery hand on it, it snapped open. A secret just for them, Severus had made sure of that. The last thing he needed was for his house to be raided and for someone to find a stash of baby toys.

Harry picked out a stuffed quaffle just like the one he had at Tyler’s. He had sent away for it a month ago under a pseudonym. Harry hadn’t let it go for the entirety of his last stay. Harry cuddled it under his pudgy arm and reached into the chest again, searching around for another toy. Severus moved a few blocks aside, below them were muggle toys Tyler had passed on and had probably gotten second-hand from Petunia. Blocks and books, a few trinkets. Harry considered his options until it became obvious he wasn’t seeing what he wanted.

“moo-ey,” Harry said.

“Ah. Why didn’t you say so.” Severus snapped up the first book he found and settled onto the floor. “This is a Book.” Severus corrected as Harry backed himself up and flopped onto Severus’s legs.

“Moo-ey.” Harry didn’t seem impressed by Severus’s vocabulary. He was quite defensive and sure of himself for such a small human. Severus rubbed his eyes as the toddler on his lap opened his book with no grace or respect for the tinsel strength of paper. “Moo-ey.” Harry slapped the page and looked up at Severus expectantly.

“Book.” Severus said one more time before giving up on the losing battle. He read when Harry slapped the page a second time.

___

Godric’s Hollow shone with Summer sun. A dandelion struggled through the bricks of the sidewalk to wink up at the sunlight conspiratorially. The hedges were just scruffy enough for Tyler to know they had grown quicker than the relaxed citizens cared to keep up with, but not scruffy enough to make the homes look abandoned. The few people out and about shuffled along in an easy summer stroll.

Tyler swallowed against the straining in his throat. Tears felt like a weight in his eyes. There was a monster trying to claw its way out of him. He sped up; Over the cobbles across the street, averting his eyes from the obelisk and the names carved into it, and to the graveyard of St. Clementine. In his frantic state the gate latch tripped him up. His fingers fumbled and fought against tired metal until he shook it until it gave way. He tripped into the graveyard trying to remember how to breathe.

He stopped, waiting for his heart to slow. The gate clinked shut behind him, his legs grew heavy, and suddenly he was wondering if he really wanted to be here after all. He hadn’t visited since the funeral. He tried to pretend that he hadn’t had the time or energy to bring Harry there. That he didn’t want to put Harry in danger, but in all honesty he had been nervous about what he would find. He had always gone to his mother and Father’s graves with Lily, but when he had asked Petunia to accompany him here she had declined, rather forcibly. He didn’t want to come alone, and he didn’t want to be surprised. But here he was. Alone, and only a few paces from their graves.

His stomach churned as he took a cautious step forward. He remembered exactly where they were buried. Despite his sleep deprivation at the time the funeral, their gravestones were seared into his brain. That day and the few conversations leading up to that day were vivid, burnt into his memory even while the following month was little more than a nauseous blur.

_“Just give me five seconds, Dumbledore. Please.”_

_“Pardon?”_

_Tyler knew that face, and he knew the only words that could come out of someone’s mouth at two in the morning._

_“Just don’t say it yet,” he pleaded, shutting his eyes. “If you say it then it’s real and you can’t take it back anymore. Then it’s all real.” Tyler pressed his hand into the side of the counter until he could feel the edge cutting into his hand. It wasn’t enough force to draw blood but it was enough to keep his emotions in check._

_Slowly he regained his breath, opened his eyes to stare at the boy on Hagrid’s lap. His boy. Harry. He remembered holding him when he was barely a few hours old. His green eyes stared back, and Tyler couldn’t keep looking that way. He turned to Dumbledore, but that was worse, so he spun back around to pour the tea. His hands shook. The world shook._

_He handed a glass to each of the men, then ran his sweaty hands down his jeans. Friction burned his palms. Hagrid adjusted, and Tyler found himself prying Harry off the giant’s lap. Harry leaned against him, and he found himself looking up to brag. I’m getting all the snuggles. Lily would give him that fake jealous face, because she knew how much he loved it when Harry or Dudley snuggled into his shoulder. She would act like Harry loved him more, because Tyler loved how much Harry trusted him. He breathed in the boys hair, his clothes, Lily’s favorite detergent. He cherished the dead weight of the boy curling into his shoulder. Harry totally trusted him._

_Tyler leaned back into the counter, clutching Harry like a lifeline._

_Dumbledore took a slow sip of this tea and Tyler steeled himself for the news. The two AM, someone at your door news. Tyler kept waiting, and waiting for the moment to be right, but it never was so, he stepped off the ledge. Took the plundge._

_“Go for it.” His voice broke on the words._

_“I believe you already know what I am about to say,” Dumbledore whispered._

_Tyler jerked a nod, and when he opened his mouth to agree no words came out, he was only choking._

_“Lily and James died a few hours ago at the hand of Voldemort.” Tyler culred into Harry, slammed his mouth shut before a sob could escape. A strange motor sound curled up in his throat. He gasped for air, as Dumbledore went on, “Lily’s love has protected Harry from a great curse. Harry himself has been the catalyst for the death of the man who has been terrorizing our world and yours for many years. Voldemort is gone.”_

_No. Lily is gone, and James is gone._

_Lily is gone._

_There was silence until Tyler had the strength to ask, “What happens to Harry?” Sirius was the boy’s godfather. Remus was a good man. Petunia was married, with a stable house and a husband with a job._

_“So long as Harry lives under the same roof as someone who shares the blood of Lily Evans, he will be safe.”_

_“Petunia or I?” Tyler clarified, his brow creasing as he tried to follow a conversation heavily laden in magical jargon._

_Dumbledore nodded and Tyler’s face scrunched further into confusion. “So Petunia?” Because it couldn’t be him. It couldn’t be Lily Evan’s little brother._

_Dumbledore took a long hard look at him. Tyler felt like a bug under a lense._

_“A friend of the family has convinced Lord Voldemort’s followers that you do not exist.” A small smirk accompanied Dumbledore’s words. “Besides the wards I will be placing around your home, that in and of itself will be your greatest protection.”_

_“My greatest protection?”_

_Dumbledore finished his tea quietly and Tyler mulled over the information. “Mine.” Tyler repeated. There was no way he could believe it. “I have Harry.” It was hard to internalize._

_“As long as you can.” Dumbledore said._

_Tyler didn’t move. He couldn’t understand. There was a baby falling asleep on his shoulder. His nephew, and he was supposed to take care of him now, and Lily was dead, and James was gone, and then Dumbledore was getting up from the table._

_“I should get going.” With a wave of his wand he cleaned and put away both his and Hagrid’s cups._

_He and Hagrid were walking to the door when Tyler stopped them, “Wait…” Tyler tried to get his thoughts in order. They were spinning, but he didn’t know when he would see Dumbledore again, “How?” He meant how did they die. How could something like that happen, they were so protected, so hidden._

_Sadness flashed across the old Headmaster’s face. “It seems they were betrayed by a friend.”_

_“Severus?” Tyler mumbled. He remembered Lily asking him not to visit their old neighbor anymore, but Dumbledore shook his head and replied sadly,_

_“Sirius.”_

Tyler’s feet took him straight to Lily and James. Standing out amongst a tall pile of flowers were two grey headstones standing sentinel over two perfect green graves. Tyler felt immediately lightheaded. He slumped to the ground before he could float away. His body was detached. He stared- for he didn’t know how long- at nothing, wondering why he was there, and what he wanted.

Knots grew in his stomach until a word forced its way out of his mouth, “hey” He croaked. He expected the sound to be jarring in the quiet cemetery, but it just felt right. It had been too long.

“Hey” He tried again, but this time the world demanded more and he continued, “Hey Lily… James… I’m- I’m Sorry I haven’t visited much…” The reality of where he was sitting hit Tyler like a sudden summer storm. He pressed the palms of his hands into the ground, trying to hold himself steady but it was no use, his emotions were raging away without his consent. He subconsciously looked around for Harry. If he could focus on Harry he could reign in the tears and the fear, but Harry was nowhere to be found. His nephew was probably eating through Severus’s entire frozen pea collection as he sat there. Was this the first time he had been away from the boy in almost a year? Tyler’s fingers twined themselves in the thick grass. “I’m so sorry Lily.” Tyler folded over, let tears he had been holding in all afternoon, if not for the past nine months run down his cheeks and fall to the ground. There was no stopping them. It was a losing battle. 

He could do nothing but let himself cry for a long time, until he could cough out his next words, “I’m taking care of Harry the best I can, I swear. I swear, Lily”

Tyler sucked in air around his words. He sounded horrible, like a drowning man. He felt a bit like it as well, but he had to tell them everything. Everything about Harry, and life, and what they had missed.He told them stories between his tears. He talked about Harry’s second birthday party with only him and Severus in attendance. He knew James would have been horrified, but what could the man do now but haunt him? Honestly Tyler wouldn’t mind much if he did. The company would be nice, then at least then Harry could see his father.

He didn’t want to think about that though, so he talked about Harry’s new hobbies and quirks. He told them that the boy’s hair still stuck up in 20 cowlicks just like James’s had and that he needed new glasses and pants and shirts, and that he was growing too fast. Everything spilled out onto the ground, until he looped back around to stories from the past month.

“He recognized Remus when he showed up to our front door,” Tyler laughed crookedly. “He looked terrible. Man James you need to be here for him too. Could barely get him to take a sandwich with him when he left.” Tyler’s voice faded out for a moment before he continued, “He just came by to apologize for being gone so much, but I can’t imagine he’ll come back. You know Harry still calls books ‘Moo-ey’.” Tyler smiled at the thought. “But um- Remus couldn’t stay long enough to read him a story. He left in a hurry.” Tyler rubbed his running nose on his sleeve. Then like ripping off a band-aid he said, “Harry called me dad.” The words sounded hollow and horrible. Tyler didn’t know what think about it, except guilty. He didn’t know how to explain it to Lily and James, instead of trying he just said “sorry”, and folded his hands in his lap. There was nothing else to say when everything had gone wrong.

When the last of the tears dried he rubbed salt from his cheeks and admitted, “God, I’m a mess” though he finally felt relieved. A heavy weight had been taken from his shoulders. He took several long breaths then glanced up at the sky. The sun was sneaking toward the horizon. Severus would be worried about him, or at least annoyed that he’d been gone so long. Sometimes those were two in the same.

He rose gingerly to his feet, wobbly after sitting so long, and brushed off his pants. “I’ll try to visit sooner next time.” He promised, then turned to head home, to find his nephew, to get back to life.


End file.
